A Positive Birth Story at QEH: Li-Li’s Third Baby in Greenwich

The birth story of my 3rd baby is remarkably happy, simple and straightforward. I say that as someone who in terms of pregnancy bingo has navigated quite a lot; ‘overdue’ baby, instrumental delivery, PPH, breech baby, preeclampsia and induction. So when I got to my 36 week scan and my blood pressure was peachy and my baby was head down, I was feeling good. The fact that baby no.3 was measuring ‘big’ (99th centile) felt like a very minor problem to have in the grand scheme of things.

Why I Chose Hypnobirthing and Considered a Homebirth

For all 3 of my pregnancies, I’d been really hoping to use the birth centres at Lewisham/ QEH. Due to various curveballs which had been thrown along the way, this option had always eventually been taken off the table. So as my 3rd pregnancy progressed with fewer complications, and after a couple of private sessions with Laura, I began considering a homebirth as I felt it would give me a stronger chance of getting the birth that I wanted.

The decision became even more appealing when I was connected with the local homebirth team - they were so knowledgeable, holistic and down to earth. I had always joked that getting into the birth centre was harder than getting into your local ‘outstanding’ primary school, due to their strict requirements around low-risk pregnancies. I found it interesting that during my homebirth assessment, I was told that in the event of a staffing issue, it was possible to bypass these rules.

Starting with a homebirth granted so much more flexibility. Ironically, on the day that baby Jovi chose to arrive, all the homebirth staff were off sick. Despite my risk factors (LGA [large for gestational age] baby, history of PET and PPH), I actually finally got to use the birth centre!

Being Labelled a ‘Big Baby’ Mum

The last few weeks of my pregnancy weren’t exactly stress-free - a suggested additional growth scan at 38 weeks revealed no new information (baby was still large, and growing!), and at 40 weeks a CTG picked up some minor heart decelerations which really spooked me. This led to another scan to check the blood flow to baby - the obstetrician suggested remeasuring too, but after much deliberation I refused because I couldn’t think what new information it would provide.

Although the doctors concluded from the scan and further CTG that baby was fine, discussion returned to the delivery of my LGA baby. There was a lot of talk of shoulder dystocia, induction cut off points (when baby hit the 5kg mark) and c-section: none of which were new to me as I had now heard these things at 36, 38 and 40 weeks.

I had also had several chats with a Consultant Midwife and was very familiar with the Birth Options team at QEH (if you ever have the chance to meet them please do, they really go the extra mile to support you with any ‘out of guidance’ maternity care and even sat in conversations with the obstetricians in an ‘I’ve got you’ kind of way).

I knew the risk of shoulder dystocia was relatively small (5% for all babies, regardless of size), and I learned that nearly half of all babies who incur shoulder dystocia are ‘normal sized’ anyway. It’s not that I didn’t believe this would happen to me, but I tried to imagine it happening (often using the Fear Release track) and the outcome being positive (i.e the midwives would carry out routine manoeuvres and baby would be ok).

Meeting the homebirth midwives provided a lot of reassurance that this was a situation they would be able to comfortably handle (on the contrary, the obstetrician had told me that on labour ward, shoulder dystocia would be treated as an immediate emergency). I didn’t see how an induction solved this problem, only bringing it forward, to the detriment of my baby’s development because I knew from experience that my pregnancies could last significantly longer than 40 weeks.

BRAINS, Confidence and Trusting My Body

Nonetheless, as 41 weeks approached it was hard not to internalise some of this fear. Would baby grow ‘too big’ for me to birth him? I reluctantly booked in a sweep for day 41+2. I messaged Laura the night before, relaying the obstetrician’s narratives about baby ‘refusing’ to be born if he ‘knew’ he was likely to get stuck. Laura’s message zinged me back into reality - it really did not make any sense that my baby would think this. As Laura pointed out, my baby did not know c-section was an option and from an evolutionary perspective this made absolutely no sense.

I remembered the mantra from one of the Hypnobirthing tracks ‘you come from a long line of women before you who have been giving birth for thousands of years’. That night, my partner and I applied BRAINS to the idea of booking an induction: I really could not think of a single ‘Benefit’ at this stage! Knowing I was feeling anxious about the CTG, my partner lay belly to belly in bed with me. Every time baby moved, he’d feel it and say it, and this brought me a lot of comfort. Baby was fine, I was fine and we could do this together.

Labour Starts at Home: Walking, Breathing...and Cleaning!

After a very good night’s sleep, I woke up at 6am with period-like pains. I got up and carried out my usual routine, noticing that the pains were regular and not going away. I told my partner that I thought something might be starting. I got my other children ready for the school run and told my eldest that I’d like to walk today - I was keen to stay upright and mobile and had been advised by both Laura and the homebirth team that this would be especially beneficial for a big baby (allowing gravity to do its work!). My eldest was a bit disappointed that baby might come that day, he really didn’t want to miss his football match after school!

The walk to school was a 50 minute round trip, but walking in the cold morning air felt really good. On the way back, the surges continued to grow stronger, and I paused at a couple of points to breathe through them. I was still scheduled for a homebirth visit that day for my routine antenatal care and sweep, but at 9am on the way home I got a call to say that the on-call midwives were off sick so they would have to rearrange. I told the midwife that I wouldn’t be needing my sweep as I was fairly sure I was in labour, but unfortunately it meant no one was going to be around to deliver my baby! ‘Unless you can hang on until 8pm, when someone might be back’. I did not think baby was going to hang around …

Once back home I let my toddler watch some cartoons and I put on some of my favourite tunes. It probably sounds strange but I had a very strong urge to tidy the house - this felt like a feasible task which I could work through methodically and allowed me to stay active. My partner, finishing up some work, was slightly bewildered, but left me too it once I explained that ‘I was preparing the cave for baby’s arrival’. It really helped me to think of my labour in these primal, ancestral terms.

As the morning went on, the surges grew stronger. I found it helpful to be on all-fours, using a kind of cat-cow pattern to breathe through them. My partner, noticing that I was doing this with greater and greater frequency, phoned my mum who arrived around 1pm. He then phoned the birth centre to tell them that we were coming, and my mum drove us to the hospital. I had some contractions during the short car ride but my mum, who had met Laura during some of our sessions, reminded me to keep breathing.

Arriving at QEH Birth Centre When the Homebirth Team Was Unavailable

I was surprised that the birth centre did not question us about coming in, and when we arrived one of the midwives greeted us at the hospital entrance with a wheelchair. I was very consumed by my surges at this point, so my partner politely told them that I needed to keep walking and mobilising. I paused several times on the short walk to the birth centre, but the midwife was very patient. We got to the room, which had been very thoughtfully set up. We were told that they didn’t know what we wanted so they’d given us everything - they’d even filled the birth pool!

My partner turned off all the artificial lighting and we put some music on our speaker. After a short time pacing the room, breathing through my contractions, the midwife asked if she could examine me. I was hesitant because I knew that a small number might dishearten me; the midwife said that they’d expect me to be ‘at least 4cm by now’. I also wasn’t sure I could stay still - but the midwife was very professional and was able to do the examination while I was on all-fours. I was 5cm.

Meeting Jovi: A Powerful, Calm Birth

Another midwife introduced herself as Joy. I continued to labour in the room, walking and breathing. The fresh air blowing through the windows felt really good, and as my contractions grew stronger, the natural urge to vocalise took over. Joy kept offering me gas and air as per my birth plan, but for the time being I felt I was managing. Joy massaged my back (amazing for the back pain!) and suggested using the birth ball to try to encourage baby’s head to come down and break the waters. This positioning didn’t feel good so I listened to my body and continued what I was doing pacing around the room.

At 3.30pm Joy popped out. I was on the bed, propped upright against a bean bag, managing some strong contractions when WHOOSH, my waters broke (I might even say exploded, it was so loud!). I’m really glad I got to experience this because with my other two labours I’d had my waters broken, and this was so totally different!

Immediately, the contractions ramped up and I had an instant desire to push. I took gas and air and I moved off the bed - I knew I needed to plant my feet on a firm surface. Holding tightly on to my partner, one foot on the floor and one on the bed, I pushed for what felt like a long time but in reality was less than half an hour. I remember saying ‘I can’t do this’, and feeling very comforted by both Joy and my partner telling me firmly that I was already doing it.

By 4pm baby Jovi was here! I was so relieved that he didn’t get stuck, there was no concern for shoulder dystocia at any point. He’d also saved me from a sweep I didn’t want and made his arrival after I’d had a great night’s sleep - what a perfect little guy!

A 4.9kg Baby (10lb13) and No Shoulder Dystocia!

Due to my previous PPH, Joy was keen to move on to delivery of the placenta. Dad cut baby’s cord and I had active management. The placenta arrived without any issues, I was checked for any bleeding and tears (thankfully none!) and then we were left for ages having skin to skin with our beautiful boy. Once I was settled and showered Joy weighed Jovi: I really appreciated that there was no rush around doing this. We were all a bit stunned when the scale read over 4.9kg! That's almost 11lb!

What Hypnobirthing Really Gave Me

Best of all, we were able to stay in the room I birthed in (I think the postnatal ward was pretty busy) and discharged the next day. The discharge took all day - something which would have been avoided with a homebirth, but apart from that, it could not have gone more smoothly. It still hasn’t really sunk in that I managed to labour from 6am until 3.30 with no pain relief, just by moving (cleaning!) and breathing.

Several midwives and nurses came in to congratulate me, all slightly stunned that my near 5kg baby had arrived with no issues whatsoever. This of course made me feel proud of what my body had done, but more than that it spoke to me of how compelling the doctor’s fears around ‘big babies’ can be, making induction or c-section seem like ‘safer’ options and making the choice to birth naturally feel untypical, even impossible.

The biggest benefit of Hypnobirthing was being able to return time and time again to a place of confidence even in the face of tricky conversations which undermined the inner belief that I could do it. I was, thankfully, also surrounded by people who truly believed in me: no matter what the ultrasounds estimated, my partner told me daily from the 36 week scan onward that he knew I could do it and never showed any doubt otherwise.

Everyone I spoke to seemed to know someone who had birthed a big baby without issue - from my mum (my 10lb brother), to the homebirth midwife who had delivered her own daughter’s ‘big’ baby, to a mum at my toddler’s gymnastics class (12lb baby!). I really leant into these positive stories.

Birth is so amazing and can be surprisingly uncomplicated when you invest in the idea that you and your baby were born to do it, just like thousands of mums and babies before. I can’t thank Laura enough for helping me remember this and for supporting me through another fantastic birth!