Homebirth doesn’t have to equal waterbirth

One of the hardest things to do when you are preparing for birth is to hear your inner voice. It's hard to hear it at the best of times, but when you are pregnant the noise around you can seem even louder. Even more significantly, the fear we feel can deafen us to what we really want and sometimes even what we really need.

Yet understanding what you want is so important for having the birth you desire. When I was pregnant with my third baby, I was determined to guard my mind from some things, open my mind up to other things. People afraid of VBAC fit into the first category and hypnobirthing applied to the latter.

So what kind of realisations did I have when I tuned in to myself and blocked out the noise? One thing that comes to mind is that even though I wanted a homebirth, I wasn't entirely comfortable

with the idea of giving birth in water. So many people automatically think that the "normal" or "best" way to have a homebirth is for baby to plop out into a pool. Yet that’s as limited as saying that if you birth in hospital, you need to be on your back (sis, let me tell you about UFO positions in another post!!)

Don't get me wrong; we did actually get a birth pool set up in the living room, but it was a just-in-case typa thing. Reflecting back now, I could feel guilty because my homebirth team and hospital were wonderful about making the free birthing pool available to me asap, and my husband was even more amazing about making sure we had all the right attachments to pipe the water in from the garden sink (because we have silly fountain sinks in our bathroom). During my Rise and Glow hypnobirthing classes, while I was in my second trimester, I already had the inkling, so I declared that I wanted a land birth, rather than a water birth.

Yet I also felt that, somehow, water would feature in my birth. I felt psychological calm at the thought of having the pool there as a comfort measure, even if I decided to climb - or be helped! - out before baby arrived. I'd heard stories of people wanting water births but for some reason or other it didn’t happen (e.g. not getting the pool filled up in time (take note you water birth wanting lot)... and mostly they were just as happy. One of my concerns about labour, was how easily my hands and feet get cold. Getting dry after a shower is a quick mission. But the thought of fumbling out of a birthing pool then dripping onto my wood floor while I tried to get dry almost made me feel annoyed for that imaginary version of the situation

As I suspected, when the day came, I did use water, but it was having a very warm shower during surges that really felt amazing. You'll see in my birth story that I jumped in there twice, the second time with my husband holding up my bump.

If you are pregnant now I invite you to start shutting out the noise. Start slowly, maybe by only listening to the global news every other day and in the middle of the day so it doesn't dampen your morning spirit or unsettle you at night.

You could then ramp things up by unsubscribing from lists or content producers that do not bring you joy. Replace them with the cat videos or funny faces that babies make.

Take it to the next level by journaling or meditating every day. This is especially possible and worthwhile in your third trimester, as you might start your maternity leave or reduce your hours at work. 

I'm excited about what you might hear once you start listening to how you feel and what you want. Count it as a win even if you only do short bursts and you realise in one of those moments that you are thirsty (Do you know how many of us walk around, dehydrated?! And, yes, this is your gentle reminder to have a drink now if you are growing a little blessing.)